A Mother's Comfort
by clarissawritesall
Summary: Aftermath of 3x10. Felicity calls her mom in an attempt to process some of the grief she is feeling. SPOILERS (Based on a tumblr post i saw).


Donna Smoak picks up on the second ring.

"Hello?" her voice is cheerful and thin through the phone. Felicity leans against the wall in her kitchen in the dark and takes a breath.

"Mom." The word comes out choked, a half-sob, catching in her throat. She slides down the wall until she is sitting with her forehead on her knees.

"Felicity?" the tone changes instantly to confusion and concern. "Honey, what's wrong?"

The crying starts then, coarse, ugly sobs that tear from her lips and echo in her empty apartment. She can hear her mother saying her name again, but the tears keep coming. She shakes violently, sobs wracking her entire body, clutching the phone to her ear like a life raft.

Except _he_ was her life raft, and now he's gone.

"He's gone," she cries, stumbling over the words as they mix with her sobbing. "He's gone." Nothing else matters anymore. She gasps for air between sobs, unable to comprehend what her mother is saying in response. It doesn't matter though, the voice itself is enough. They haven't always gotten along, but Donna is still her mother, the same mother that provided comfort when she was a little child, a comfort she desperately seeks now even though she knows it will make little difference.

Donna is talking, asking her something, but Felicity can't hear a thing over the roaring in her ears. She's been shipwrecked and the tide is coming in, crashing over her in a violent, dark wave. "Mommy," she manages to say, before the water swallows her up completely. "Mommy."

The grief consumes her and her phone drops from her hand to the floor. She doesn't know how long she sits there, wailing non-human-like sounds and crying until her throat and eyes burn. She cries for hours, eventually exhausting herself to sleep, right there in the kitchen.

It's light outside when she wakes, curled up on the floor. Light, but clearly still very early in the morning. She feels numb inside, but her skin is cold and she shivers. Still too exhausted to move, she continues to lie there, ignoring when the alarm in her bedroom goes off. She stares into the distance, disregarding the passage of time.

The living room is bright when a knock comes at her door, startling her out of her reverie. Probably John or Roy, she decides, maybe even Ray, but likely not. She ignores it, staring at the place where tile meets the wall.

The knock comes again, stronger and more persistent. She doesn't want to see or talk to any of them right now. A surge of anger propels her to her feet. She's fully prepared to yell at whomever it is to leave when she whips open the door, but stops short at seeing her mother.

Donna Smoak stands once again on Felicity's porch, unexpected. She's wearing the most normal and appropriate clothing Felicity has ever seen her in wear in public, a white and pink striped sundress. In her hands are a large tub of mint chip ice cream and a bottle of red wine.

"I don't know what happened, baby, but I'm here." She steps past her daughter into the house.

Felicity moves automatically, shutting the door and continuing to stare.

Donna moves into the kitchen, setting down the wine and putting the ice cream in the freezer. "Was it Ray Palmer? I liked him, but he was a little pushy. Let me guess, he took you out for dinner, told you wonderful things, and decided it wasn't going to work out because you work together, and broke up with you.

"No," she whispers, numbly moving to the couch. "No, he didn't…"

"Oh! It was Oliver, wasn't it? Oliver Queen? Now there is a good-looking man. I liked him even better. Though I wouldn't have expected him to do anything like that. I think he genuinely liked you. As a friend, if not more. Either way, he wouldn't have left you abruptly. Did he leave you abruptly?"

"Mom, please, stop…" it was too much. Yes, Oliver left her abruptly, but not the way her mother thought.

Donna sits down next to her. "Honey, it's ok to talk about it. I didn't talk about your father leaving to anyone for a very long time, and that was probably my worst mistake. Besides, if he does realize his mistake and comes back, you will know where you stand. If you do want to try again, or if the heartbreak isn't worth it anymore."

"Mom… he's not… he isn't…." Felicity starts to cry again, her eyes stinging with tears. She takes a deep breath. "He's not coming back."

"Honey, I know you think that because your father didn't come back. But that doesn't mean you'll have the same lack of luck that I did. You're smart, baby. Smart and beautiful, and he's a fool if he thinks that…"

"He's not coming back because he's dead!" She shouts the words, springing to her feet. Her hands ball into fists at her sides and she breaths heavily, trying to control herself. Donna looks shocked, unable to comment. "He's dead." Felicity begins to cry again. "Oliver's dead and…." Bile rises in her throat and she rushes to the bathroom, gagging. She hasn't eaten since lunch yesterday, and nothing comes up, but she hangs her head over the toilet anyway, sobbing.

A hand on her back reminds her she isn't alone. She turns, puffy eyes and trembling lips to meet her mother's saddened expression.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

Felicity curls up in Donna's lap cries.

It's mid-afternoon when she wakes again, this time in her bed. She's no longer wearing her dress and her hair is down and tangled. Briefly, she recalls her mom helping her out of the bathroom, into her pajamas, and into bed.

The scent of coffee floats in from the kitchen. Felicity stands, and her stomach growls even though she doesn't feel like eating anything. Hushed voices float in through the crack in her door, and she slowly exits the bedroom to find Diggle sitting on a barstool talking to Donna quietly.

They turn when she enters. "John," she whispers sadly. He stands and crosses to her, wrapping her in a tight hug. She buries her face into his chest. After a long moment, he kisses the top of her head and steps back.

"I should go. I just stopped by to check on you, but I can see you're being taken care of. Next time, though, don't leave your phone on the kitchen floor, and answer it, please." It is not a request. Felicity nods and he smiles sadly at her before turning to Donna.

"It was nice to meet you again, Ms. Smoak. And thank you for the coffee."

"No problem at all, Mr. Diggle."

They shake hands and he leaves, pressing a gentle hand to Felicity's shoulder before going. She sits on the stool he vacated, and her mother hands her a cup of coffee and a plate with toast.

They spend the day together, and slowly, Felicity begins to heal.


End file.
